Sunday, October 14, 2007

Walking for Exercise...aka...humiliation on the grand scale

OK, since I had put on a remarkable amount of weight before, during and after having my children and I am heading face first, smack dab into my forties....I decided to exercise for the first time in a while. I have a coworker who has mapped out some challenging walks in the beautiful farmlands that surround my office park....

Walking adventure part I

If you can't talk while you are walking because you are panting or vomiting, you could either be walking with a very challenging partner or are very out of shape... (on my account both)

The beautiful farmlands in New England are usually surrounded by stone walls.

Stone walls are a great place for snakes to hide out

I am petrified of snakes

Snakes don't react when you scream

Horses and humans react when you scream

Snakes react when you throw water bottles at them

Walking on a hot day without a water bottle can result in dehydration.....

Walking Adventure Part II

The more you walk the better you get at it

If you lose a bit of weight by walking sometimes you get cocky and try to run

Fact or possible opinion:
If you wore an outfit to step aerobics 10 years ago, you may look silly running in it now..

The UBER people who live in the McMansion neighborhoods near me, know immediately when someone doesn't belong in their neighborhood.

People in the UBERHOOD near me like to "high five" you when you run.

I don't like people "high fiving me"

People who live in uberneighborhoods who high five don't like being screamed at or having water bottles thrown at them....

"I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he'd have put diamonds on the floor." Joan Rivers


Too Cool for School said...

"Fact or possible opinion:
If you wore an outfit to step aerobics 10 years ago, you may look silly running in it now." Hey, I ressemble that remark. I still own spandex pants, although I never did the leotard thing *cringe*

Oh and McMansions are as obnoxious as escaladevolvomobiles. (To borrow a phrase from you, which I love!)

Dana said...

I think it would be fun to throw water bottles at the people in the Ubberhood!

Susannah said...

Ha! You just made me laugh outloud. And reminded me why I don't walk when I can drive. Or just stroll really slowly.

Heather said...

The part I hate the most about walking is all the perky college freshmen that run on the walking path as I'm walking there. There's nothing that takes away that endorphine buzz quite like realizing I couldn't fit a leg into their entire jogging outfit!

mommyof2galz said...

I don't like snakes either- EEK!

Nuclear Mom said...

Too funny!

I hate high fives as well.

TNMomof5 said...

ROFL - I love the Joan Rivers quote... and, of course, all the facts I never knew before :)

MilitaryMom said...

Very funny! I can definately relate to your facts, except that I have to wear a silly military pt uniform instead of jazzercisewear. Still get the same looks though! And I hate snakes and high 5s too!

Kimberly said...

Oooo, you have inspired me to carry extra water bottles around to chuck at random McMansions. Hate those things. Snakes don't bother me though.