Friday, February 25, 2011

Is it Time?

Having crossed over.... I:

Take prilosec every day since my insides are too lazy to process anything important like yogurt or something more complex like....water

No longer get acne (hell it's only taken howwwww many years?)

Tweet (if Demi Moore can do can I)

Drink Vodka...well to give the prilosec something really interesting to work on.

Am losing my inner monologue...but only in bed

Say "what the hell is that?" in most situations (noises, cars driving by, see above, reviewing report cards, designer dogs)

Am finding it more appropriate to lust after older gentlemen....I find myself saying "you know...that Robert Duvall is still quite attractive"

Can no longer "suck" anything in (other than perhaps a shot of Patron) and rely on outside forces also known as spanx

Say things like "she should be grounded" "what is she wearing" "where are her parents?" "she should be wearing a bra you know"...sometimes at the TV...sometimes at Hollister

No longer pay attention to ANYTHING...including this conference call