Thursday, May 29, 2008

Did Somebody Say Punch?-A Tale of Woe


Lets preface this story by letting you know that my pre-teen daughter is constantly embarrassed and annoyed by anything I say or do.

A few weeks back, I volunteered to help another mom serve cotton candy at a school event. I wore my favorite ubermom outfit, so I would fit in with the LexusVolvoEscalade set, and was on my way. After the event, my daughter Cat hugged me and said she was so happy that I helped at the event. WOW, that was truly a first.

When the opportunity arose to volunteer at a classroom event, I was ready to jump at the chance again. Well, by the time I saw the email, most of the food items, napkins etc... were snatched up. But there was a need for 2 moms to make punch. So I signed up. 2 days later, the ultimate ubermom volunteered to make punch as well.

So off I was to research punch recipes. The only time I made punch before involved Everclear, red cups and waking up in some strange dormroom with someone else's bra on.

The hubster jumped in and said "just get Hawaiian Punch and be done with it."

Last night at dinner, Cat asked what I was bringing to the event and I said "punch."

A look of complete panic came over her face......

"MOM do you know HOW to make punch?"

"One time Becky's mom made cookies for class, and Danny made fun of them and no one ate them."

A complete wave of panic came over me

"No worries Cat, I can do this"

So off again to research punch recipes.... Most of them were the sherberty stuff that you see at baby showers. Surely no self respecting 10 year old would drink that stuff. Definitely a recipe for disaster. Finally I found one that looked good involving lemonade and fizzy stuff. Looked good.

So I arrived with my punch ingredients. So did ubermom. So I made my concoction, enough tart, sweet and fizz to please any 10 year old.

Ubermom made the sherberty one that you find at showers....heh... (finally I have you in my grasp ubermom).

When it was time for the party.......they went for the sherberty one. But let it be known....there was only ONE ladle for the punch bowls. The mom's that volunteered the punch bowls forgot to bring enough ladles...oops

oops? I was losing the battle. No ladle for my punch. I've been set up

Cat bravely marched up and took some punch. Thank goodness she liked it. Slowly after the uberpunch was GONE, kids began taking my punch. But I fear I am not going to hear the end of this when Cat gets home today.

The two kickers on this tale of woe (the final blows to my ego)
  • the teacher blurting out to ubermom "this is the best punch, you need to email me the recipe!!!" (yeah, gingerale, cranraspberry and sherbert.... watch out Todd English, we got a chef in the house!!!)

  • And Cat's best bud, the one who had made my house a second home....drank 3 cups of ubermom punch and didn't touch mine...."Et tu, Brute?"

Now I sit home and await final judgement

Friday, May 16, 2008


May 30th Sex and the City movie....

Can I just share that I am their #1 fan...I am .....really

As a matter of fact, while I type this blog I feel slightly transformed into my own version of Carrie. Am I in a cool NYC apartment wearing men's briefs (season 4), typing away pretending there is a voice over going on "I couldn't help but wonder..."?


Actually, I am in my office, thinking about my list of "un-hip" activities that I will be doing this weekend (birthday parties, coaching softball, cleaning my minivan). There is no voice over, except for my neighbor across the hall talking about our slightly dull jobs. I am wearing flats, and not even cool ones at that.

So that being said... I will share with you some SATC facts about me

  • I feel like I am a cross between Miranda and Carrie.

  • I love cosmopolitans

  • I always liked Big better than Aiden and Alexander

  • I thought the season finale was PERFECT, I cried at every storyline wrap-up

  • I am a bit dubious about the movie, but I am going to see the first showing

  • I like Carrie's hair the best in Season 3 "c c c curly"

Favorite Episodes by Season

Season 1

The Baby Shower-How funny were the ubermoms in that one

best quote: "she 'f' on that couch she buys it" (Samantha)

"isn't that how you got the couch from me?" (Carrie)

Season 2

Ex and the City-Any episode that references "The Way We Were" is good in my book

best quote: "When did you stop calling her the idiot stick figure with no soul?"(Miranda)

Season 3 (the season where they really hit their stride)

Are We Sluts? First episode I had ever seen and I WAS CRYING I was laughing so hard

best quote: "you "f"ing bitch you "f"ing whore" (Charlotte's lover)

Season 4

The Good Fight-Demonstrates the best ever fight between men and women (Carrie and Aiden)

best quote: "No no no I'm leaving so you can knock yourself out with your shoe eating dog, while your puttin' on the Speed Stick and the Rogaine"

Season 5

I Love a Charade-I love when Miranda smells the lilacs and sleeps with Steve (huge Steve fan)

best quote "Mr. Broadway has to tinkle"? That must be the gayest sentence ever uttered" (Miranda)

Season 6

I think the finale would be cheating...its a given that the finale is my favorite, so we won't count that one

One-Again, love the Miranda and Steve plot line as well as Carrie's first date with Petrovsky

best quote: "No one wants to "f" grandma's p...y" (Samantha)

Thanks for sharing in my obsession

Will be obsessing more before the movie premier!!!! probably with more quotes


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My favorite "toy"

I need to share one of my favorite things...very Oprah of me...

  • It is purple

  • It runs on AA batteries

  • I use it at least once a week, sometimes when things are bad twice a week

  • I never let the kids touch it

  • The only time I don't use it is when my husband agrees to get down on his hands and knees and do it himself

  • It is efficient, I get the job done quickly

  • It makes a little humming noise when I am using it, sometimes it scares my cat


You guessed it

It is my Swiffer

Sunday, May 11, 2008

To all the Moms in my Life

Happy Mother's Day

To all the moms in my life.
The mom who makes me remember I had a life before I was a mom

To the moms who taught me its ok to have fun for myself, it will make me a better mom

To the mom who makes me remember how nice it was to have a baby nuzzling into your neck...and that all moms are beautiful (in her case some more than others)

To the mom who adopted me at 39 years old and makes me remember how nice it was to have a mom.

To the mom who stepped in and became my mom when I needed her the most. And to the woman who I proudly call Nannie!!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Note to Self....

Dear Trish.....

1) Get an eye exam soon, particularly for seeing distances

2) Don't assume that every Subaru you see in town is driven by your neighbor Kristine

3) Don't try to flash the person you think is Kristine

4) Next time you go into the neighborhood where you flashed the guy in the Subaru, make sure you are in disguise

5) Clean the coffee off the dashboard that you choked and spit out when you realized you were flashing an uberdad instead of Kristine

6) Get a life