Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Balance....eh

As I read the article Trish mentioned below, I felt that familiar annoyed feeling I get anytime people create labels I cannot live up to. If I don't project balance and competence in all areas each day, can I still be an alpha mom? If I'm balanced, but incompetent? Or if I'm competently unbalanced?


For that matter, what mom feels as if she truly has balance? The word itself bothers me - whenever some well-intentioned person points out that we need more balance in our lives, I end up feeling guilty that I need to add something else to my to-do list.


Task #15: Must get more balance. Must find some "me" time in addition to work time, kid time (x2), husband time, house cleaning time, cooking time, sleep time, etc. BLAH

Mind you - I am not complaining - I am crazy busy and sleep-deprived...and also completely happy. Do I enjoy every minute of every task? No. Is some of it a slog that you must get through? Yes. But am I overall happy and enjoying the hell out of the crazy mixed up mishmash of activities that comprise my own personal balancing act? YES! I don't want to waste time feeling as if I am not doing more for myself - for me, that just makes me focus on the negative. Instead, I feel lucky to have all that I do have to "balance" in any given day or week or month....and am just enjoying the day to day slog with my preschooler and infant.

5 comments:

Trish K said...

KUDOS

I think balance is an impossible goal based on the nature of parenting and another way to impose guilt and an impossible standard. Some days I can actually get the kids in bed on time and read a book for a 1/2 hour. Sometimes I am doing late night laundry because I am short on underwear for the next morning.

I too enjoy my unbalanced life...thats where the humor lies and the strength in marriage comes from.

Ex: Going out for my anniversary is great and a time to connect. However, I find it a far bigger "turn on" watching the hubster help wiggle out a lose tooth or chase down a rambunctious 6 year old who forgot to brush her teeth before gymnastics...

to me that's the good stuff....

Pinks & Blues Girls said...

Ah, the balance word!

As a mom and now grandma, I agree that balance is abstract. I enjoy the craziness too... and really find my life joyful and fulfilled!

Your post is great food for thought!

Sharon - Pinks & Blues Girls

Balancing Act; Jenn said...

As my own 'blog' is actually named, "It's a Balancing Act", I can totally relate. And I could not agree more that the real turn ons come when we see our better halves doing the stuff of life, connecting with our kids.

I think the grand picture of it all is that this is our life, to make of it what we will. It's up to us to be happy even when life serves us up a big ole' bowl of crappola. We all have it. Sometimes it's covered in more crappola and sometimes it's covered in chocolate BUT eventually the bowl changes, the contents change and then of course, we grow. What looked like 'crappola' before now makes us laugh.

It's music, it's joy, it's fingers on a chalk board, it's laughter and it's tears. It's life. It'll never be perfect, never ever. And that, that is ok.

. . . Dallas Meow . . . . >^^< . . . said...

I learned balance happens over the course of years.
nowadays, I WISH for some of those toddler times ...
would have never believed it then though ...

Too Cool for School said...

The term "integration" seems to be coming in vogue, as in work/life integration. Kinda like "balance" only minus the positive connotation (she can do it all!)