Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Can I be sad? or mad?

Do I have any right to be sad or mad??!!

This is a blurry, not so good shot of my old cute, little gingerbread house.

It was pale yellow with hunter green shutters, tons of beautiful landscaping all over the yard and a lush green lawn like a golf green. There was something blooming in the yard all year long except during the dead of our New England winters.

My husband designed & built the mahogany wrap-around deck on the back just in time for my oldest child's 1st birthday party.

Our bedroom had a window seat that contained a cushion with beautiful fabric on it that my grandmother sewed to match the curtains.

There was an ironing board that folded into the wall in the kitchen.

We sat on lawn chairs, ate pizza & drank champagne on our first night in that house.

The people that bought our house didn't take care of it at all!! There are junk cars (several) and a half covered boat in the driveway.....along with tons & tons of just stuff everywhere in the yard! The landscaping in the front doesn't exist has all been ripped out.

I don't pay the mortgage there anymore but hubby & I put all of our blood, sweat & tears into this little home to make it quaint & inviting....and to make it......well.......a home!

This was our first home.

My husband proposed to me when we lived there.....

I got married when I lived there....

My water broke while I was standing in the kitchen....

I brought our first child home to that house.....

I rocked my baby boy at 4am and watched the milk truck deliver milk to the elementary school down the street.

I walked my son in the stroller to see the fire trucks at the station in the center of town from that house....

I cannot help but almost feel betrayed.

Silly. Things don't matter. People do. But my memories lingered there and I almost feel like someone has erased them now.

Boo hoo.


Trish K said...

Well written. I don't think mad is the word,or sad. Maybe bittersweet? I too have a lot of beautiful memories of my old house and I can only hope the new owners are forging new memories of their own.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Oh, yes you are allowed those feelings. I was upset on my husband's behalf when we visited the house he grew up in and it was unkempt, in disrepair. It is heartbreaking when those who come after us aren't honoring a place's history by taking care.

Your memories, written so lovingly, sound like great bones for a short story.